I thought I lost you
by Bonesfan25
Summary: Takes place after season 4 finale theres a shock! HOw does the couple react as Booth recovers from his surgery.. its a work in progress
1. Chapter 1

This picks up after *wait for it… shock* the season 4 finale! I've never written a fan fic before but I was inspired by all the stories I was reading and decided to give it a go. I hope you all enjoy!

Oh and spoiler alert*** its not that he doesn't know who she is but that he doesn't know which Brennan she is

He looked up at her from the hospital bed he knew that he had hurt her but he was still so foggy he didn't try to word the question more delicately. He searched her eyes for some sort of an answer but all he could see was the sorrow on her face.

She hadn't answered him. She didn't know how to answer a question like that. How could he not know who she was they had worked side by side for four years! He had to know her; to remember her how could he forget. She wasn't sure what she was feeling there were so many emotions filling her mind and all coming so quickly. The normally collected Temperance Brennan could feel her eyes starting to fill with tears. "_He just has to remember me_" she thought to herself. She suddenly realized she was angry. Not at him but at herself for letting someone get so close to her. In her life whenever she let someone in they always left her she had learned many times in the past that is was best to just put her heart in a box that way no one could touch it. But she had let someone touch it. She had let Seeley Booth in to slowly chip away at the walls until she couldn't imagine her life without him anymore and now suddenly the thought of him not knowing her she was angry but she couldn't yell it wasn't his fault it was her own.

She was taking her time. Trying to break down to analyze the question he had just posed to her. That is how she works. He knew that better than anyone but what he didn't know was what to call her. It was like he was torn between two worlds. There was the world of the FBI and Dr. Temperance Brennan and then there was The LAB, his nightclub, and his wife he couldn't sort out the memories they were all so real. He quickly searched the room trying to make some sense of where he was. She had said something about a tumor but she was speaking so quickly he didn't quite understand. Then it came back to him; the hallucinations he had had, her asking him to father her child; their child. The questions were all coming so fast he had to know more but she was still processing the first thing he said. He had to get her attention he had to know what was real; "Bones?" he paused he knew the second it came off his tongue it was right it felt right.

She was still trying to process his words trying to rebuild her walls as quickly as she could and one word from him brought them tumbling back down again. Bones he called her Bones he knew her he hadn't forgotten! He blue eyes filled with delight she took two steps and threw her arms around his neck she was crying but she didn't care he remembered and he was alive and he was safe!

"Booth thank god you're alright" she pulled back almost as soon as she said it and playfully slapped him on the shoulder "what do you mean who am I? you scared the hell out of me! I though I los…" she paused "I thought I lost you" she was trying to fight the tears again as she leaned down and hugged him afraid to let go.

He didn't realize how hurtful that question had been until he saw the tears in her eyes. "Bones" he said it again remembering how much she used to hate the nickname he'd given her but now hearing him say it seeing her eyes light up made his heart skip a beat. "Bones I'm sorry I didn't mean to scare you I was just a little foggy that's all. Of course I remember you how could I not! You're my partner my best friend…" he was trying to take care of her as always seeing the pain and the fear on her face had almost wrenched his heart right out of his chest. He knew he cared for her even if she wasn't his wife but this was so natural so right him holding her even if she wasn't his.

She had started to relax, letting all the tension of the last four days slowly draining out of her. Suddenly she realized how tired she was. Sleeping in the chair beside his bed waiting for him to wake up hadn't been very comfortable. She had woken up frequently and only slept for an hour or so at a time. This felt so right he was holding her in his arms comforting her as he always did. Even though she always told him it wasn't necessary. She was fine on her own that's what she always told him. She never realized how much she missed his company until the last four days. And now here he was he was back and she never wanted to let him go. But her body was struggling to stay alert. He was so warm, he always had been, and being so closed to him she fought and lost the urge to yawn; which she immediately regretted.

He pulled her back just enough to see her face and now with her reddened eyes he realized how tired she must have been. His eyes shot over to the chair by the bed and he saw her purse her jacket her laptop and the blanket on the floor folded neatly, no doubt given to her by a hospital staff member as she surely had refused to leave when visiting hours were over. "Were you here the whole time?" he asked though he already knew the answer a simple nod was the only response. That was all he needed though and he was already scooting over on the bed trying not to move too quickly as he was suddenly realizing the throbbing in his own head. "Here Bones lay down you must be exhausted!" he said as he started patting the spot he had made next to him.

She knew she must be tired because any other day and she would have turned him down outright. That was inappropriate being that close to him it crossed the line he had so clearly defined all those years ago. But now things were different they were different they had both changed and she knew it. She started to prop herself up on the side of the bed when Dr. Les Granger came in the room

"Ah Mr. Booth awake I see its about time you were starting to worry us" he said with a smile, though he could see from the expression on Booth's face he clearly didn't remember him. "I'm Dr. Granger, you're neurosurgeon. I'm sure Ms. Brennan here has already told you we got the whole tumor and now that you're awake there should be no worry of any further complications though I do want to get a quick cat scan to confirm."

"It's Dr. Brennan" she replied as she slipped her leg off the bed before Booth could say anything "and you already have taken follow up scans"

"It's just a precaution I assure you everything has been healing up nicely and he should be out of here in a day or two as long as this scan is clear. So if you're up to it I'd like to take you down as soon as possible."

Booth shot Bones a quick look searching for an answer and she nodded slightly "It'll be okay I'll be right here when you get back, I promise." He nodded to the doctor and with that the orderly came in and whisked him away for his test.

The Dr. Granger stayed a moment longer then added with a grin "He's going to be fine you should be able to take him home in no time." And with that he strode out the door before she could correct his implications.

"No I'm not taking him home with me…" she more said it to herself as the dr. was already half way down the hall. Then she took a moment to collect herself again it had all happened so fast and now she was standing alone in the hospital room not sure of her next move. "Angela" she said to herself and with that she whipped out her cell phone and started dialing everyone to let them know he was awake and he was all right.

"Yes Ange he gets released tomorrow I'm gonna pick him up and take him back to his place and…"

"Ravage him" Angela giggled she loved to poke fun at her friends and their obvious affection that they both refused to acknowledge.

Brennan let out a small frustrated sigh "No Ange" she said in her most annoyed voice though the idea didn't seem that bad to her not that she would ever tell Angela that. Just then she heard a knock at her door. She looked at the clock it was nearly 10pm. "Just a second Ange" she said as she reached the entry.

"Who could possibly be there at this time of night?" Angela posed the question more to herself than to Temperance.

"I don't know hold on…" as she opened the door she let out a small gasp. She was taken aback at the all too familiar view: the strong muscular figure with his back to her as she opened the door. He turned to greet her, leaning his arm on the door frame, his mouth widening in his best charming smile, he knew she would be happy to see him but mad that he didn't wait for her to get him at the hospital. "Booth!" she gasped as the phone fell from her hand and hit the floor the flip on the cell phone folding closed.

"Temperance?" Angela's voice trailed as she looked at her phone and seeing the call had been disconnected. "Did she just say Booth?"


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks for the reviews I do appreciate them they should really help to keep me motivated! I've never written this kind of stuff before so I'll do my best! Oh and I edited the first chapter, I think it breaks better here so the new stuff starts a few paragraphs into it, sorry for any confusion!

"Booth what are you doing here? I wasn't supposed to pick you up til tomorrow" she said trying to sound as irritated as she could though she was delighted to have him back to his old habits even if it was showing up randomly at her door all hours of the night.

"Nice to see you too Bones. Would you like to come in? Sure don't mind if I do. See Bones that's how the conversation should have started." He teased. He liked to poke at her social awkwardness though she had been improving since they had started to work together. A steep learning curve she had boasted. "besides…" he continued as he pushed past her and walked into her apartment, "you know how much I hate hospitals."

"So you walked out …again? " It wasn't unlike him to go against Dr's orders he like to be the one in charge very alpha male of him as she had always made a point to mention, he always hated it when she tried to put him in an anthropological category.

"hey take it easy Bones they were letting me out tomorrow anyway its not like I just got out of surgery yesterday. It's been a week and I'm good as new. I've got a hard head" he said as he jokingly started knocking lightly against his cranium careful not to touch his stitches.

Temperance smiled he really was like his old self again. Not like he had been a few days before in a coma and completely unresponsive to the world. Suddenly she realized they were both just standing there staring at each other both somewhat lost in their own thoughts. "so what are you doing here then?" she winced she didn't mean to sound that rude.

"well I ugh.." he had actually forgotten why he was there "I couldn't go back to my place."

"What why not?" that would be the logical place for one to go especially at this hour she thought to herself

"you have my keys." He stated rather bluntly.

"what no I…" she stopped midsentence remembering that she had taken them to get him a change of clothes for the following day and she had not given them back. "oh you're right." She confessed blushing a little at her forgetfulness as she strode over to pluck his set of keys from her purse.

He followed her over to her purse a faint scent drifting toward him. It was the same scent he remembered, the other Temperance, his wife. The memory flashed before him. It had been so real, what was it, a dream, another life? She was intoxicating he longed to be near her like he had been before he didn't even realize how close he had gotten.

"Here you go…oh" she had bumped into him as she turned around now dropping the keys on the floor. He had been right behind her! She looked up at him, this man that she had thought she lost only days before, now seemed so strong her hands were on his chest and she could feel his muscles tensing at her touch. They had never been close like this before.

He stood there for a moment holding her in his arms looking down at the amazing woman he felt so lucky to be with her. _With her? You're not with her she's your partner Booth nothing more_! He thought to himself but the flashes kept coming. He remembered the love they both had for each other and longed to be able to "'prove it to her' as they had called it. Now here in her apartment holding her he felt he might be able to take the risk. Slowly he moved his hands up to her jaw line. Cupping her face in his hands he traced her lips with his thumb. She looked nervous but she didn't pull away.

She knew something was different he was standing there examining her. She knew she should move but it felt so right. She loved it when he held her, though she would never tell him that. She was independent she didn't need a man to be happy. But this wasn't just any man. It was Seeley Booth the man she trusted her life with who had saved it more times than she could count and whom she had risked hers for as well. Then she noticed his ands moving from her waste up her arms to her neck and settling on her jaw. Her head was screaming pull back but her whole body was electrified by the caress of his hands against her body. Her eyes never left his, and then she felt him pulling her closer as he lowered his head.

His lips pressed against hers; hesitant and soft at first, he was waiting for her to slap him. When she didn't he intensified the kiss a little more moving his hand from her jaw to the back of her head, he ran his fingers through her soft auburn hair and pulled her closer. Parting his mouth he drew his tongue over her lower lip he smiled to himself as she responded by opening her mouth and allowing him entry.

_Oh god what am I doing? This is my partner my best friend I shouldn't be kissing him!_ Her mind could come up with a thousand reasons why it was wrong why what they were doing should stop immediately, but her body was in control. Her heart was pounding so hard she was sure he could feel it. She couldn't help but sigh as his tongue ran over hers. She had kissed plenty of men before but somehow this felt different more intimate than the others. Her hands were still on his chest and she dug in her nails in an effort to pull him even closer to her. Now it was his turn to moan. She could feel his lips curl up in a smile of satisfaction at the slight pain.

Slowly he slid his hands down her back, dragging his fingers along the way, until they rested on her ass. He clutched each cheek in a hand and squeezed playfully, as he rocked his own hips in toward her letting her body feel the stiffening member in his pants.

Breaking the trance his mouth had on her lips she gasped for air. She was surprised at how quickly he had become aroused and it only made her want him more. "Booth" she breathed his name, trying to formulate her next words, but she could think of only one thing as she felt his tongue running along her collar bone and up the side of her neck "oh don't stop."

"Never" he whispered in her ear as he nibbled on her lobe. He shifted and covered her mouth with his as his fingers walked there way under the hem of her shirt to her bare ivory skin. It tickled and she felt a shiver run down her spine at the thought of how far this could go. She had thought about it before, what it would be like to be with him and no doubt he had thought of it as well but somehow as much as she wanted him she knew it wasn't right, not yet. With all the strength she could muster she pushed him back.


End file.
